Posts Tagged ‘jennifer thompson’

The Yanks are dead long live the erm… yanks

October 8, 2010

terry venables

Hola. Hope you are well.

Let’s start with what’s going on at Liverpool. No one seems that sure what’s going on off the field. It appears that the board has sanctioned the sale of the club to John W Henry and the New England Sports Ventures. Although the current owners of Liverpool, especially Tom Hicks are contesting this. I’m no business expert, but it does seem quite messy. Naturally, most Liverpool fans will be glad to see the back of Hicks and Gillett although some are sceptical what with the new owners also being American. My advise to the protesting Liverpool fans is to keep hold of your banners cos if John W Henry proves to be as bad as the previous owners, the fans can dust down their ‘Yanks Out’ banners. I however am more optimistic on this matter, as history has taught me to trust any American with ‘W’ as their middle initial.

On the pitch Liverpool don’t seem to be doing any better. Having been beaten by Blackpool, the word crisis was being attached to Liverpool. I feel a bit sorry for Blackpool because it does seem Liverpool’s crisis stems largely from losing to Blackpool. It’s like Blackpool are seen as the yardstick of sh*tness and therefore to be beaten by Blackpool means there needs to be an enquiry. I’ve noticed this in education. Whenever a report comes out which says, white working class boys are bottom of the pile, people want to know why this has happened and more importantly why they have fallen below that of their black counterparts. Maybe it’s something to do with having Black in the title, Black boys/Blackpool, who knows?

In the last few posts I’ve mentioned prostitutes, it’s not because I’m slightly obsessed with them, it’s just that there seems to be an unusually high number of footballers being linked with them in the last few months. I’m not sure why this is? Maybe the recession has forced more women into the ‘oldest profession’. If this is the case let’s hope the coalition government’s decision to cut public services so severely and so quickly doesn’t lead to a double-dip recession or we might be overrun with prostitutes.

I mention this because since my last post there’s been further prostitute developments. Firstly, prostitute Irma Nici claimed to have slept with David Beckham on 5 occasions. He strenuously denies this and goes as far as saying he has never even met her. I’m no lawyer (nor business expert as we learnt earlier) but this does look like a big difference of opinion. Unless of course you can bed someone without ever having met the person. I’m sure there would be many people happy if this were possible.

The other prostitute news is quite sad, as Jennifer Thompson’s dad suffered a heart attack. No one knows for certain why this happened, but there’s a good chance that all the publicity surrounding his daughter didn’t help. It now makes me wonder if it’s worth allowing Wayne Rooney pay you for sex. (allegedly)

And Finally… Terry Venables has been linked with becoming the new Welsh manager (see here). I think the story is based on nothing other than the fact that Terry Venables with his grey hair and grey goatee (see pic at top of bl;og)  is morphing into Welsh legend Tom Jones (see here)

Til next time, stay safe!

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Allegedly

September 17, 2010

The Bodyguard

 

Hola. Hope you are well. 

On my last post I mentioned that I had a meeting that clashed with the England vs Bulgaria game. My plan was to surreptitiously listen to the game on my Walkman whilst pretending to pay attention to the meeting. Unfortunately it didn’t work out that way, as there was no way of doing this without getting noticed. Plus I had mentioned it on my blog prior to the meeting, which was probably not the best idea. Note to self, if you ever plan a bank raid don’t mention it on a public forum. Anyway back to my predicament, as the match was almost over by the time the meeting finished, my new plan was to go home and watch the highlights. Unfortunately this didn’t happen either, because when I got home the girlfriend was watching the film ‘The Bodyguard’, and as she seemed to be enjoying it, despite having seen it before, I decided not to mention the highlights. I did however get to see the goals on the news at 6am the next morning, so it wasn’t a total failure. 

Prior to the Switzerland game, there were allegations in a number of Sunday newspapers that Wayne Rooney had visited a £1200 a night prostitute, Jennifer Thompson, for four months. This made me think it must be confusing for any young Premiership footballers looking to spend their hard earnt cash. Because whereas Jennifer Thompson reportedly charges £1200 a night, Monica Mint allegedly charged Peter Crouch a little over £800 for a ‘sex act’. Who do you choose in these circumstances? This is why I’ve decided to launch a price comparison site for prostitutes. On it would be the services they offer, vital statistics, their USP and the prices they charge. I think it’s such a good idea I may offer it up to the Dragons on the next series of Dragons’ Den. I’d love to know what Duncan Bannatyne thinks of this idea. 

The rumours surrounding Wayne’s indiscretions (I think that’s what the broadsheets call it) meant there was talk he may not make the trip to play against Switzerland and instead he might go back home and sort things out with his wife Coleen. If I was him (and I’m not) the last place on earth I’d want to be at a time like this would be at home with the wife. In fact I’d want the next 6 months of games to be away games. 

Luckily Wayne saw sense and played against Switzerland, which was good news for me as I had him to score the first goal, which he duly obliged, netting me a whopping £5 (plus my £1:25 stake). Because I’m bonkers when it comes to money, I’ve already blown the lot.

I think I should draw a veil over the whole Rooney allegations or as Mr Ferguson put it before the Everton vs Man Utd game “Let’s put this to bed”, nice choice of words Sir Alex. The way I see it, I wasn’t there I don’t know what went on, plus it’s none of my business it’s between Wayne and Coleen to sort out. And let’s face it, every man in a relationship pays for sex, even if it’s just having to sit through The Bodyguard.

After the 2 England games there was speculation as to who would be the next England manager, as Fabio Capello had announced that he would step down after Euro 2010. And with the FA having previously said the next English manager would be English, the press were even keener than normal to speculate. Naturally cheeky chappy cockney manager Harry Redknapp threw his own hat into the ring early. I was going to start an anyone but Harry Redknapp campaign, that was until I learnt the other candidates high on the list were Steve Bruce and Sam Allardyce so now I’m going to say Good Luck as England manager Harry. 

And Finally… my favourite bit of the double-header was the fact that some Scotland fans booed the Liechtenstein national anthem. If you’re wondering why, it’s because the Liechtenstein national anthem has the same music as ‘God Save the Queen’ (but diff words). I have to applaud each and every Scottish fan that booed, I appreciate that level of bitterness. Oh and many congratulations on your historic victory in the game! 

Til next time, stay safe!