Posts Tagged ‘comedian’

Im not a match fixer!

May 29, 2014

Hola. Hope you are well.

I didn’t know that Scotland were playing Nigeria until the day before the game and that was only because it was being investigated for potential match fixing.

On hearing this news I thought about tweeting, ‘Should you be going to the scotland v nigeria game tomorrow, it ends 2-2’. I only chose the score because it sounds like an exciting game and I didn’t want to show bias to either side in my made up scoreline.

In the end I didn’t tweet it, as I thought it might be one of those joke tweets people put out only to get a knock at the door from the police a few hours later. Instead I went old school and texted it to my friends.

I didn’t think about it until the next day when my friend texted back to say he would be passing my text onto the authorities. With that I checked the score and remarkably it had ended 2-2. Since then I’ve had more texts back from my friends viewing me with some suspicion.

With this in mind, when have you predicted something that has made your friends think you knew more than you did? Contact me via the comments button or on twitter @viewfromthetrev

Til next time, stay safe!

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Jobs for the Moyes

January 5, 2014

Hola. Hope you are well.

You didn’t have to be a genius to think that David Moyes would struggle after taking over from Sir Alex Ferguson, which can be proven by some of things I said about the appointment in a blog post back in May 2013.

Below are extracts from the blog post in May 2013, titled My Tribute to Sir Alex

I think the biggest honour Man Utd could have bestowed upon him (Alex Ferguson), would have been to retire the position of manager. Although some (not me of course) may suggest appointing David Moyes as his successor goes some way towards this.

It appears from the outside that Moyes got the job because “He’s cut from the same cloth”, which basically means he’s Glaswegian.

The appointment of Moyes does seem slightly odd, especially when you consider the Wigan manager has won more major trophies than the new Man Utd manager. It’s also odd in light of the fact, that Alex Ferguson knew he was leaving at Christmas, a time when Pep Guardiola was still on the market. To many Pep would have been closer to the calibre of manager expected to walk through the doors at Old Trafford. By appointing David Moyes, it’s almost as if the Glazers have gone for a cheaper option, one that is used to working within the confines of a budget. I’m sure this wouldn’t have crossed the minds of the Glazers.

I’m sure if Moyes were a foreign manager, who’d won no major trophies and had no pedigree in Europe, the press would have ridiculed his appointment, but for some reason, these minor details have been pretty much ignored.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Have you ever had to pretend to be someone else?

January 2, 2014

Happy New Year. Hope all is good with you.

I ended up going to a Premier League match over the Christmas period. Due to illness I ended up using a season ticket that belonged to a senior citizen.

I wasn’t 100% sure I would get in, because despite having a few grey hairs I don’t look like I’m a pensioner. I was even less sure when my other-half rang the club asking how much it would cost to upgrade from a concessionary ticket to an adult one. During her conversation with the staff member she gave him the number on the season ticket. So when I put the card into the machine at the turnstile I thought it would set off all manner of alarms, but thankfully my paranoia never came to fruition.

So for one day I pretended to be an OAP. Feel free to let me know when you’ve pretended to be someone else or filled in for someone. You can contact me via the comments button (or on Twitter @viewfromthetrev).

Ps For those desperate to know, it would have cost me £38 to upgrade.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Delia or Sir Alex

November 6, 2013

Hola. Hope you are all well.

I’ve not read Sir Alex Ferguson’s autobiography ‘Alex Ferguson My Autobiography’ but I don’t think a little detail like that should get in the way of me passing comment.

I think the strangest thing about the book isn’t that he slags off players that helped him achieve his successes, such as Keane and Beckham. Nor was it him believing Owen Hargreaves was his worst ever signing, does he not remember Djemba Djemba, Kleberson and Bébé ? Nor was it, him not thinking Steven Gerrard was a top top player, despite the fact he tried to sign him.

No, the strangest thing about the book is that Jordan Henderson features in it. I’m sure Jordan Henderson was surprised he made it into the book. If Sir Alex Ferguson feels he can’t complete his autobiography without discussing the running style of Jordan Henderson then maybe we need to reassess Fergie’s career.

Some people have questioned why Fergie wrote the book, but the fact it’s become the fastest selling non fiction book ever, goes some way to explaining his reasoning. For those interested the previous quickest selling non fiction book was by Delia Smith.  So with this in mind, I ask, Delia Smith or Alex Ferguson? Take this question whichever way you wish. You can let me know of your decision via the comments button.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Are you less racist than Roy Hodgson?

October 24, 2013

Hola. Hope you are well.

My favourite part of the Roy Hodgson and the ‘feed the monkey’ comment was the aftermath.

Firstly there was a debate as to whether it was racist? Was Roy guilty of racism. Then came the denials, from Roy himself, Andros Townsend and senior England players, such as Wayne Rooney.

Then came ridicule, with people trying to dismiss the idea that directing the phrase, ‘feed the monkey’ towards a black person could in any way be considered offensive.  People started to ask whether they were still allowed to say brass monkey or listen to the Artic Monkeys. Others asked if it was racist when Man City fans used to sing ‘feed the goat’ to Shaun Goater. Should anyone wish to know the answers to these questions, they are, Yes, Yes and as the City fans were referring to his name and not the colour of his skin, this was also ok.

Ridicule was replaced by blame and speculation as to which player was the mole and how leaking the story was the real crime. One player we know wasn’t responsible for the leak was Ashley Cole, mainly because he tweeted it wasn’t him. He even made up his own hashtag #BlameAsh. I have to give respect to any man who makes up their own hashtag.

Roy Hodgson also attempted to calm the situation by saying, “You would have to go a long way to find somebody who is less racist than me”. So with this in mind, are you less racist than Roy Hodgson? You can contact me via the comments button.

For what it’s worth, here are my thoughts, 1) It wasn’t a very good joke, 2) The monkey was actually the intelligent one, and finally 3) If Roy Hodgson works harder on his material he could be the comedy turn at the PFA Awards. I’m sure he’d be less controversial than Reginald D Hunter.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Space travel and monkeys

October 17, 2013

Hola, Hope you are well.

I’ve never been in a professional dressing room at half-time but previously I thought it was a 15 min window where the manager and coaching staff can get their tactical wisdom across. Thanks to Roy Hodgson, I now know that this short window of opportunity is best served by telling a long-winded joke about space travel and monkeys.

The punchline, ‘feed the monkeys’ has forced Roy Hodgson to apologise mainly because the point he was making is that the players should keep getting the ball to Andros Townsend as he was causing Poland problems every time he ran at them. In no way do I think Roy Hodgson was making a racist remark or trying to put anyone down due to the colour of their skin, but it’s unfortunate that the person he was referring to in the team is mixed race (with a black dad). And although people might not want to admit it the word ‘monkey’ does have connotations with racism.

Of course context is also important in these scenarios, if Roy Hodgson had been telling this joke, whilst doing monkey actions and throwing bananas at the black players in the squad he may have something to answer.

My advice to Roy, would be to keep his half-time instructions as simple as possible. For everyone concerned, I think it would be best if next time Roy just says, ‘keep getting the ball to Andros’.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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When have you got your boss sacked?

September 25, 2013

Hola. Hope you are well.

In some ways I’m sad to see Sunderland‘s experiment of bringing the most confrontational manager to the Premier League end so soon and end with such little fuss.

I read an article recently, where Paulo Di Canio said he was happy to take the blame for Sunderland’s poor start to the season, as this would take the pressure away from the players. This is all very admiral  but now he has been sacked. Maybe in future he will do what most managers do and delegate blame.

Having said that I’m not sure where publicly criticising individual players falls into his plan to take the focus away from the players.

According to reports Di Canio was sacked after senior players complained about him to the chief executive Margaret Byrne. So with this in mind, when have you got your boss sacked and under what circumstances? Let me know via the comments button, cheers.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Standing up for Ashley Young

September 22, 2013

Hola. Hope you are all well.

My last blog post was all about Man Utd as is this one (not that I’m obsessed by them).

Firstly, if the Man Utd commercial department have anything about them, they will have replicas of the Rooney headband in the club shop by their next home game. If they do them in the club colours and emblazon them with the club crest, they will make the £4m extra they paid for Fellaini in no time.

I’d also like to stick up for Ashley Young. The way he is able to deliberately make his foot collide with opposition defenders whilst running at speed in order to win penalties is pretty impressive. This isn’t something that you do instinctively, this is something you can only achieve by putting in the hours on the training ground.

Yet pundits, journalists and his own manager have been critical of him but what they are failing to say is how much joy you get from winning a penalty when it wasn’t. It’s a double whammy. Two of my favourite football moments as a player have come from winning penalties, once against a dirty side and once playing against my mate (Prong2 from the radio show I do). In my defence of the latter penalty he did dive in and didn’t get the ball. The fact he didn’t make contact with me either was incidental.

I’m currently offering an amnesty for anyone out there who would like to admit they’ve enjoyed it when they’ve got away with a piece of ‘sportsmanship’ (cheating). Feel free to contact me via the comments button, I won’t judge you, honest.

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

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Act now, pay in January

September 12, 2013

Hola. Hope you are well.

A lot has been made of the lack of transfer activity at Man Utd during the summer (remember the summer). With Alex Ferguson and David Gill having left the club Damien Comolli believes they should employ a director of football. He’s probably too modest to throw his own hat into the ring but should anyone high up at Man Utd be reading this, I can fully endorse a move for him. If they move quickly, they could have Andy Carroll and Stewart Downing in their squad in January for a mere £50m plus .

With me not being there I don’t know what went on with the Herrera deal, but one story is that 3 imposters went to Athletic Bilbao and negotiated a fee but with no actual authority they couldn’t secure the deal. This of course could be nonsense but if it is anywhere near the truth then I can only salute these 3 people. Feel free to let me know of any football blags you’ve been involved in. You can contact me via the comments button.

And Finally… Some good news for Man Utd as Nani has signed a new 5 yr contract. 5 yrs does seem somewhat extravagant especially as it looked like he was heading out of the club. I wonder if he will have 2 good games back to back over the period of his contract?

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev

Don’t forget the kit, kit man

September 4, 2013

Hola. Hope you are well.

This is going to be a quick-fire blog.

I know it caused bad feeling but I thought it was a good finish from Yeovil’s Byron Webster vs Birmingham in the Capital One cup.

Millwall’s kit man had a nightmare, when he forgot to take the kit to the away game at Sheffield Wednesday. I’m not sure exactly what a kit man does but it can’t involve much more than being responsible for the kit. With him in mind, what is the most important thing you’ve forgotten? Feel free to let me know via the comments button.

Celtic’s recent opponents in the Champions League qualifier, Shakhtar Karagandy have been warned by UEFA about sacrificing sheep on the pitch before European matches. I wonder if it would be deemed more acceptable if they killed badgers instead?

Gordon Taylor, chief exec of the player’s union kept his job after allegations that he has a problem with gambling. If he had been dismissed I wonder if he would he have got the union involved?

Gareth Bale finally moved to Real Madrid and people seemed impressed that he was able to speak Spanish to the crowd. The transfer took so long, he could have learnt Mandarin Chinese nevermind Spanish.

And Finally…  in one of my other roles, I am Prong1 in the 3Prong Attack radio show (still without a radio station). Last week we recorded a Prongcast (a podcast to you) where we imagined what the transfer window would look like if it were set in a grocers.

Enjoy!

Til next time, stay safe!

@viewfromthetrev