Posts Tagged ‘blackpool fc’

The Yanks are dead long live the erm… yanks

October 8, 2010

terry venables

Hola. Hope you are well.

Let’s start with what’s going on at Liverpool. No one seems that sure what’s going on off the field. It appears that the board has sanctioned the sale of the club to John W Henry and the New England Sports Ventures. Although the current owners of Liverpool, especially Tom Hicks are contesting this. I’m no business expert, but it does seem quite messy. Naturally, most Liverpool fans will be glad to see the back of Hicks and Gillett although some are sceptical what with the new owners also being American. My advise to the protesting Liverpool fans is to keep hold of your banners cos if John W Henry proves to be as bad as the previous owners, the fans can dust down their ‘Yanks Out’ banners. I however am more optimistic on this matter, as history has taught me to trust any American with ‘W’ as their middle initial.

On the pitch Liverpool don’t seem to be doing any better. Having been beaten by Blackpool, the word crisis was being attached to Liverpool. I feel a bit sorry for Blackpool because it does seem Liverpool’s crisis stems largely from losing to Blackpool. It’s like Blackpool are seen as the yardstick of sh*tness and therefore to be beaten by Blackpool means there needs to be an enquiry. I’ve noticed this in education. Whenever a report comes out which says, white working class boys are bottom of the pile, people want to know why this has happened and more importantly why they have fallen below that of their black counterparts. Maybe it’s something to do with having Black in the title, Black boys/Blackpool, who knows?

In the last few posts I’ve mentioned prostitutes, it’s not because I’m slightly obsessed with them, it’s just that there seems to be an unusually high number of footballers being linked with them in the last few months. I’m not sure why this is? Maybe the recession has forced more women into the ‘oldest profession’. If this is the case let’s hope the coalition government’s decision to cut public services so severely and so quickly doesn’t lead to a double-dip recession or we might be overrun with prostitutes.

I mention this because since my last post there’s been further prostitute developments. Firstly, prostitute Irma Nici claimed to have slept with David Beckham on 5 occasions. He strenuously denies this and goes as far as saying he has never even met her. I’m no lawyer (nor business expert as we learnt earlier) but this does look like a big difference of opinion. Unless of course you can bed someone without ever having met the person. I’m sure there would be many people happy if this were possible.

The other prostitute news is quite sad, as Jennifer Thompson’s dad suffered a heart attack. No one knows for certain why this happened, but there’s a good chance that all the publicity surrounding his daughter didn’t help. It now makes me wonder if it’s worth allowing Wayne Rooney pay you for sex. (allegedly)

And Finally… Terry Venables has been linked with becoming the new Welsh manager (see here). I think the story is based on nothing other than the fact that Terry Venables with his grey hair and grey goatee (see pic at top of bl;og)  is morphing into Welsh legend Tom Jones (see here)

Til next time, stay safe!


which pr*ck scheduled a game for a friday

September 2, 2010

sony walkman


Hola. Hope you are well. 

I’m going to start with a couple of apologies. Firstly in my last post I may have suggested that Monica Mint, the prostitute allegedly linked with Peter Crouch was Spanish, when in fact she is actually Algerian. I sincerely hope I haven’t ruined her reputation. 

My second apology is for taking ages to do a new post, I’m not sure where time goes. I’ve been busy (for me) and then I did some shows at the Edinburgh Festival (see here) and then I had to catch up after going to the Edinburgh festival. 

So this is the first post since the start of the Premiership season, which gives me the chance to look at how my Premiership predictions (as first mentioned in the previous post) are getting on. The first thing to note is that, I think we all felt it would be a massive effort for Stoke to finish the season as Champions, but it will be even more incredible after the start they’ve made. But I still have hope that they can do it, especially as they managed to sign Jermaine Pennant and re-sign Salif Diao just before deadline day. These two could be the signings that are going to propel Stoke to Premiership glory, or not. Wigan on the other hand started off as if they were trying to finish in19th place. It’s bad enough losing to Blackpool 4-0 on the opening day, but when you make Marlon Harewood look like Lionel Messi, you know it might be a long hard season. (Yep, I know Wigan just beat Spurs 1-0 at White Hart Lane, it’s things like this, why I should post more regularly) 

Probably the most intriguing transfer that took place in the Summer window was Craig Bellamy going on a season long loan to Cardiff. On the face of it, it did seem a little unfair to the other Championship teams, as Man City are still paying the majority of his wages. Meaning Cardiff get a Premiership quality player for next to no outlay. I think in the spirit of fairness, Man City should have been made to send all their fringe players out to championship clubs. I could just see Robinho being more than happy to turn out for Scunthorpe

One other player on the move in this window was Javier Mascherano from Liverpool to Barcelona. One of his last acts as a Liverpool player was to pull out of the game against Man City. It’s claimed that he didn’t want to play because he wasn’t in the ‘right mental state’. I think the next time you pull a sickie you should use that as your excuse, feel free to let us know how that goes. Let’s face it, if it were law that we had to be in the right mental state (and physical state) before we could work, I imagine half the British workforce would be off every day. 

And Finally…. which pr*ck has scheduled the Euro qualifier between Eng and Bulgaria for a Friday? One thing we know abt football is that it is played on a Saturday and Wednesday. And on a Sunday. And Monday and a Tuesday. And sometimes on a Thurs, if you’re lucky enough to be in the Europa League. But never on a Friday. This is why when asked a couple of weeks ago, could I make a meeting this Friday, I said Yes. Only to discover this clashes with the game. But not to worry as I have a cunning plan, I will take my cassette/radio Walkman and keep in touch with the game that way. And before you ask, yes I do have a Walkman, and yes I do know it’s not 1984. Just get over it, you Ipod loving …. 

Til next time, stay safe!

Man moves from London to the North, shocker

August 7, 2010



Hola. Hope you are all well. 

I can’t believe the football season has started. It’s been a relatively quiet summer, transfer wise. Man City have been the only club really spending and even though they’ve signed some good players, Silva, Yaya Toure etc… they’re not I would call exciting signings. 

In fact the transfer that seems to have got the most column inches has been a free transfer, that being Joe Cole’s move to Liverpool. One thing that seems to have fascinated some journalists, is that despite playing all his football in London, Joe decided to move ‘up North’. Yet from the time man has been able to travel, people from the North have had to dust down their flat caps, take the whippets from their pants and move to London for work. Yet as soon as people have to go the other way there’s a hullabaloo. For example, the BBC’s decision to move a few departments to Salford has caused much debate. I even read in one paper (so it must be true) that some BBC staff have had to have counselling because of the move. (read here

It’s not as if there’s a real cultural difference moving from London to the North, it’s not like moving from Glasgow to Moscow, which Aiden McGeady will have to do if he decides to move to Spartak Moscow. That would be a culture shock, because when I think of Moscow, I think of grey buildings, miserable weather and heavy drinkers and when I think of Glasgow… Come to think of it I’m sure he will be fine. 

Talking of Liverpool, as I was with Joe Cole, there’s been plenty of speculation about a takeover, it seems like there’s a new name in the frame everyday. There’s been Kenny Huang and the Chinese Government and the Syrian consortium, to name two. Some people have questioned whether it would be right for Liverpool to be owned by an arm of the Chinese government, what with China’s poor human rights record. The sad thing is Hicks and Gillette are so unpopular, that I reckon if Hitler, Pol Pot or Robert Mugabe turned up at Anfield promising a new stadium and money to invest in the team, I’m sure most fans would prefer them to the two Americans that currently own the club. 

Talking of takeovers, Blackburn have been linked with a £350m buy out. If I was so rich that I could afford to buy a football club, I wouldn’t, but if was going to, I can’t imagine Blackburn Rovers would be high on my list. 

Staying in the Northwest and this time Blackpool. I happened to be watching my local news (it must have been a slow day) and saw that Blackpool players were opening a Cheque centre. Firstly, what is a Cheque centre? Secondly, have cheques only just reached Blackpool? And Thirdly, aren’t other places fazing out cheques? Other than that Good luck with the venture. 

Anyway onto the colourful life that is Diego Maradona. After he was recently ousted as Argentinian coach, he read out a statement, in it he claimed, “I have values, I have a moral code”. I would also suggest he has a selective memory, has he forgotten ‘that’ handball, the drug taking, the shooting at journalists? God Bless him. 

And Finally… I’m not one for facts or statistics, as you probably know if you’ve read any of my previous posts. But I was fascinated when I saw the Opta Stats, with regard to tackles in the Premiership last season. Javier Mascherano made the most tackles 178 and won 144 of them. What surprised me was that only 4 players made more than 100 successful tackles with Lucas Leiva the fourth of these, making 102 successful tackles. This made me think, there are 38 Premiership matches and let’s say for the purposes of this, a player misses 5 games, therefore playing 33 games. This would mean all a player would have to do to reach 100 successful tackles, would be to do 3 successful tackles in every match and 4 in one. Surely that is doable. I’m not one of these fans who say “I could have scored that” but I reckon I could make more than 100 successful tackles in a season. If any Premiership clubs are reading this and would like me to back up my claims, feel free to contact me and we can talk. 

Til next time, stay safe.