Wayne Rooney ruined my blog

leslie compton

Hola. Hope you are well.

I was going to write a whole heap of stuff about Wayne Rooney and him wanting to move away from Man Utd. I was going to mock him, the fans that went round to his house and Ian Holloway. I’d written it up, and then I found out that the cheeky scamp had signed a new 5 year deal with Man Utd, making my very funny and witty comments redundant. Cheers for that Wayne. The one thing I will say is, this was either the most daring piece of contract negotiating in the history of contract negotiations or the biggest    U-turn since something big did a U-turn.

I’ve had to delete all the Rooney related material and instead I’ve decided to just keep the non Rooney stuff I was planning to do, meaning this will be a much shorter post than usual.

Ok, let’s start with Craig Levein’s decision to send Scotland out against the Czech Republic in a 4-6-0 formation. I have to say that in all my time watching football, I’ve never heard such a thing. Occasionally I’ve watched games where a team has played one up front and that player’s been so ineffective it’s looked like the team were playing with no one up front. But to actually send a team out with no strikers, that’s just wrong. It wasn’t as if it was even a success, as they got beat 1-0, but it does make me think, when they went a goal down, did he get a little more adventurous and maybe play 3-7-0???

Let’s move on to England their historic and heroic  0-0 draw at home to Montenegro. I feel I should congratulate Kevin Davies, who at the age of 33 became the oldest player since Leslie Compton aged 38 to make his England debut. This makes me ask the question, what the hell was Leslie Compton doing, that at the age of THIRTY EIGHT, and only then, the England manager thought he was good enough to make his International debut. He must have been overlooked at 18, when he was a sprightly youngster, and in his mid twenties, not even when he was 37 was he deemed good enough for his country, but when he turns 38, that’s the time to blood him.

And Finally… I got given a book voucher for my birthday, but something tells me I won’t be spending it on the book recently written by Roy Reyland. For those that don’t know who Roy Reyland is, he is the ex-Spurs kitman, and now Saracens (Rugby Union) kitman. He’s put pen to paper to tell us of his life as a kitman (see here). I think I might however keep hold of the voucher and save it for when the Arsenal tea lady decides to bring out her life story. That’ll be sure to be a great read.

Til next time, stay safe!

The Yanks are dead long live the erm… yanks

terry venables

Hola. Hope you are well.

Let’s start with what’s going on at Liverpool. No one seems that sure what’s going on off the field. It appears that the board has sanctioned the sale of the club to John W Henry and the New England Sports Ventures. Although the current owners of Liverpool, especially Tom Hicks are contesting this. I’m no business expert, but it does seem quite messy. Naturally, most Liverpool fans will be glad to see the back of Hicks and Gillett although some are sceptical what with the new owners also being American. My advise to the protesting Liverpool fans is to keep hold of your banners cos if John W Henry proves to be as bad as the previous owners, the fans can dust down their ‘Yanks Out’ banners. I however am more optimistic on this matter, as history has taught me to trust any American with ‘W’ as their middle initial.

On the pitch Liverpool don’t seem to be doing any better. Having been beaten by Blackpool, the word crisis was being attached to Liverpool. I feel a bit sorry for Blackpool because it does seem Liverpool’s crisis stems largely from losing to Blackpool. It’s like Blackpool are seen as the yardstick of sh*tness and therefore to be beaten by Blackpool means there needs to be an enquiry. I’ve noticed this in education. Whenever a report comes out which says, white working class boys are bottom of the pile, people want to know why this has happened and more importantly why they have fallen below that of their black counterparts. Maybe it’s something to do with having Black in the title, Black boys/Blackpool, who knows?

In the last few posts I’ve mentioned prostitutes, it’s not because I’m slightly obsessed with them, it’s just that there seems to be an unusually high number of footballers being linked with them in the last few months. I’m not sure why this is? Maybe the recession has forced more women into the ‘oldest profession’. If this is the case let’s hope the coalition government’s decision to cut public services so severely and so quickly doesn’t lead to a double-dip recession or we might be overrun with prostitutes.

I mention this because since my last post there’s been further prostitute developments. Firstly, prostitute Irma Nici claimed to have slept with David Beckham on 5 occasions. He strenuously denies this and goes as far as saying he has never even met her. I’m no lawyer (nor business expert as we learnt earlier) but this does look like a big difference of opinion. Unless of course you can bed someone without ever having met the person. I’m sure there would be many people happy if this were possible.

The other prostitute news is quite sad, as Jennifer Thompson’s dad suffered a heart attack. No one knows for certain why this happened, but there’s a good chance that all the publicity surrounding his daughter didn’t help. It now makes me wonder if it’s worth allowing Wayne Rooney pay you for sex. (allegedly)

And Finally… Terry Venables has been linked with becoming the new Welsh manager (see here). I think the story is based on nothing other than the fact that Terry Venables with his grey hair and grey goatee (see pic at top of bl;og)  is morphing into Welsh legend Tom Jones (see here)

Til next time, stay safe!